P: I think we should go down into the pit and kill the giant spider.
N: No! We should make friends with it. It’s like, the perfect garbage disposal.
S: You can’t make friends with a giant spider.
N: Why not? Its head is big enough, it’s probably got a big enough brain in there.
S: But the only thing it wants to do is eat you. Hard to get past that.
N: All we have to do is keep it well-fed. If we give it what it wants, it’ll be friendly.
S: Look, let me put it to you this way. Could you be friends with a BLT?
N: Sure I could be friends with a BLT, if it was always next to a big fucking pizza!
HA! The funniest thing I have read in days!!!!
I think the BLT would get eaten eventually, as pizza alone does not a healthy creature diet make. 🙂 A pit spider needs a little variety for its brood, yanno.
“Hey, you ate our cleric!”
“Sorry, I got tired of all those ordinary prisoners you were throwing me. Plus, elves have extra fiber.”