Dealing with Dragons

P: I think we should go down into the pit and kill the giant spider.

N: No! We should make friends with it. It’s like, the perfect garbage disposal.

S: You can’t make friends with a giant spider.

N: Why not? Its head is big enough, it’s probably got a big enough brain in there.

S: But the only thing it wants to do is eat you. Hard to get past that.

N: All we have to do is keep it well-fed. If we give it what it wants, it’ll be friendly.

S: Look, let me put it to you this way. Could you be friends with a BLT?

N: Sure I could be friends with a BLT, if it was always next to a big fucking pizza!