Had I crossed into a parallel universe?
The first bizarre experience was when I called Blue Cross to cancel my individual health coverage. While contracting, I had been paying for the absolute cheapest health care package I could — the kind of package that basically only covers catastrophic events. Blue Cross has some fancy name and number for this package, but they should really call it the “Be a good son and pay us some money so that you won’t bankrupt your parents should (God forbid) you come down with a horrible degenerative disease” package.
Anywaaay, I called Blue Cross, got through right away (whoa!) and asked to cancel my policy. The lady told me that A) I had to fax in that request, and B) the billing date had passed for the month, and so I was still on the hook for one more month’s payment. Bummer. I thanked her and hung up, annoyed with myself for waiting too many days. Then two minutes later, the phone rings. “Hello, sir?” Although I had given up, she had gone to the effort to ask her supervisor about this. It turned out that if I faxed in the request that day, it would arrive in time to cancel for the month. Woo! Yay Blue Cross customer service department!
The second bizarre experience was when I called the IRS with some questions about whether I needed to pay estimated tax for some contract work earlier this year. To my amazement, I got through right away (again, whoa!) and ended up speaking with an IRS customer service rep for about 20 minutes. We went through some options, crunched some numbers,1 and in the end I knew exactly how to proceed. I guess there’s something to be said for calling the IRS in September rather than April, but still — yay IRS customer service department!
At this point I was becoming convinced that I had stepped into some sort of parallel universe where everything is turned upside down. Could Evil be Good? Could Good be Evil? Could violating a business contract have actual consequences in the real world?2 But then on Friday night I met up with Pat, Sam, and Mike in downtown Campbell, and none of them were wearing evil parallel-universe goatees. Whew. For a second there, I was getting worried.
1. I realize I’m a little quirky in that I actually like crunching numbers.
Something tells me you are a bit of a science fiction fan, Evan. A recent paraphrase from Terminator, and now some quality Trek.
I’ve had good customer service from Blue Cross too, so it isn’t all that bizarre, I guess. The BEST example of customer service I have ever had came at Outback Steakhouse, where I got pretty much a $100 meal for nothing because it took a bit too long to arrive. I would have been struck speechless, had my mouth not already been full with a “Chocolate Thunder from Down Under.”
I think there’s a problem with the “goatee makes them evil” concept. Wouldn’t alternate-universe Bill Gates be good?
Simon – That’s right… I am, in fact, a bonafide science fiction fan. In case there’s any ambiguity, let me state it loudly and proudly: “I’m here! I read SF! Get used to it.”
Actually, the Trek reference that I’m *most* proud of is buried in my HTML tutorial: https://www.goer.org/HTML/intermediate/div_and_span/
Jemaleddin – Good point. My guess is that the “good” Bill Gates (in the mirror universe) would indeed have a goatee, just like Good Cartman on South Park. By the way, on that same Friday night I ran into Mike McGee, our current National Poetry Slam Champion. I hadn’t seen him for many months, but it was reassuring to see that his goatee was still intact. Just more evidence that everything is all right with the world.
I think your experience was a living example of that physics theory (I forget the name of it) that says that everything that isn’t expressly forbidden by the laws of nature can occur. And while the probability would be extremely low, it is still possible for the same improbable event to occur twice in one day to the same person.
Love,
Mom
“the Trek reference that I’m *most* proud of is buried in my HTML tutorial”
Dude, that isn’t your basic Trek. That is your AWESOME Trek. To my mind, that was the very best of Star Trek. My OWN (x)HTML tutorial, written some time ago, also mentions Star Trek – when I’m describing definition lists:-
http://jessey.net/simon/xhtml_tutorial/two.html
Evan, your Trek reference was really subtle. You also forced whoever was looking for it to read your entire Div and Span section! 🙂
The Moby Dick reference was not nearly as subtle though!
That’s my secret plan Adiv — to trick you into learning this markup nonsense against your will.