{"id":81,"date":"2002-04-22T18:57:10","date_gmt":"2002-04-22T22:57:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.goer.org\/wordpress\/advanced_witnessing_techniques"},"modified":"2002-04-22T18:57:10","modified_gmt":"2002-04-22T22:57:10","slug":"advanced_witnessing_techniques","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.goer.org\/Journal\/2002\/04\/advanced_witnessing_techniques.html","title":{"rendered":"Advanced Witnessing Techniques"},"content":{"rendered":"

“But that’s something that you only discuss<\/a> socially among physicists or ex-physicists (right, Evan?)” Absolutely right, M’ris.<\/p>\n

So I was having dinner with Mom and Sarah, and they are slightly<\/em> at odds over Mom getting a new computer. Mom wants a Mac, because she’s tired of her PC crashing once a day. Sarah doesn’t, because, well, she knows how to use a PC, so the hell with Macs. Ordinarily I would side with Mom, but after doing a little research, my sympathies lie squarely with Sarah. You see, “the truth has finally come out: Apple Computers promote Godless Darwinism and Communism<\/a>“:<\/p>\n

\n

This company is well known for its cult-like following. It isn’t much of a stretch to say that it is a cult. Consider co-founder and leader Steve Jobs’ constant exhortation through advertising (i.e. mind control) that its followers should “think different”. We have to ask ourselves: “think different than whom or what?”<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Think different than whom or what indeed<\/em>! But Steve Jobs isn’t the only Satanic danger lurking out there. As Objective Christian Ministries warns us in their “4 Kidz” section<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

Atheists such as crotchety old Mr. Gruff think they’ve got it all figured out… but then why are they always so sad?
\nIf you find an atheist in your neighborhood, TELL A PARENT OR PASTOR RIGHT AWAY! You may be moved to try and witness to these poor lost souls yourself, however AVOID TALKING TO THEM!
\nAtheists are often very grumpy and bitter and will lash out at children or they may even try to trick you into neglecting God’s Word.
\nVery advanced witnessing techniques are needed for these grouches. Let the adults handle them.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Unlike the overly scatological Landover Baptist<\/a> website, this site appears to be entirely sincere. At least, I think<\/em> it’s sincere. Maybe these guys are just more subtle. But look, folks: I knew that the one about the cigar-smoking lawyer who tried to collect under his arson policy<\/a> was false. And I knew the one about Oliver North warning about Osama Bin Laden back in 1987<\/a> was garbage also. Even Mike<\/a> admits that my “eye for the hallmarks of internet tomfoolery is as sharp as ever.” Yeah, that’s right! My Internet Bullshit Detector is set at hair-trigger level — so just try me!<\/p>\n

Now the really unfair thing is that I’m picking on easy targets. So ok, let’s see… who else is there… well, there’s the National Review<\/a>, of course. Long ago, our grandfathers and grandmothers were forced to endure humorless lectures from windbag Communist intellectuals on the inherent superiority of the Russian economic system. Today we are subjected to the same… the only difference is that the lectures come from windbag Republicans<\/a>. And since we’re on the topic of the National Review, take a look at a recent article by Rich Lowry which I think<\/em> is pro-Francisco Franco<\/a>… or at least not-very-sorry-Franco-won, anyway. It’s a good thing I’m a moderate liberal, and I don’t have to read the National Review. No, I get to read The National Republic<\/a>, which in one article claims that Israel’s military is destroying Hamas<\/a>, while in another claims that Israel is really destroying the Al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigades, while Hamas is getting away<\/a>. In the same issue, no less.<\/p>\n

Easy targets! I hear you cry. Ok, I’ll stop. I won’t even mention the fact that Jenny Jones’s show has been saved from cancellation<\/a>. Nor will I pick on George Lucas for being a “Galactic Gasbag<\/a>“, when his only real crime is being too chicken to stand up and say, “I like pulp science fiction, and I made the Star Wars movies Just For Fun!” After all, who among us has not quivered in fear at the onslaught of the lit-crit establishment?<\/p>\n

Besides, maybe the next movie will turn out to be all right<\/a>. “Attack of the Clones”, eh? I’m not holding my breath.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“Consider co-founder and leader Steve Jobs’ constant exhortation through advertising (i.e. mind control) that its followers should ‘think different’. We have to ask ourselves: ‘think different than whom or what?'”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-81","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-culture"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goer.org\/Journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/81","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goer.org\/Journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goer.org\/Journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goer.org\/Journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goer.org\/Journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=81"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.goer.org\/Journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/81\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goer.org\/Journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=81"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goer.org\/Journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=81"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goer.org\/Journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=81"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}