{"id":365,"date":"2008-01-15T17:34:16","date_gmt":"2008-01-15T22:34:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.goer.org\/wordpress\/let_me_tell_you_how_you_can_increase_your_value_ad"},"modified":"2013-11-17T23:45:34","modified_gmt":"2013-11-17T23:45:34","slug":"let_me_tell_you_how_you_can_increase_your_value_ad","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.goer.org\/Journal\/2008\/01\/let_me_tell_you_how_you_can_increase_your_value_ad.html","title":{"rendered":"Let Me Tell You How You Can Increase Your Value Add"},"content":{"rendered":"

So I gotta say, being an executive sounds pretty awesome. If you do a mediocre job, you make a lot of money. If you do a really really bad job, you make a lot of money, and<\/em> they have to pay you a lot more money to leave. And don’t even think about trying to hire cheaper, more efficient executives from overseas, that’ll never work. You see, each American executive is hired by a closed circle of other American executives<\/del> is a unique and special snowflake whose copious talents are accurately priced in the marketplace!<\/p>\n

How do we peons break into this club? I think the fairest way would be trial-by-combat. Close your eyes and imagine this scene: hundreds of your co-workers surrounding you, beating drums, chanting, “Two engineers enter! One engineer leaves! Two engineers enter! One engineer leaves!” You raise the severed head of your opponent high before them. Feel the frenzied chants wash over you! The still-warm blood flows down your forearm! “ENGINEERS!” you roar. “I<\/strong> am your NEW CTO! Bow down before me, and give me your private keys!!”<\/p>\n

Anyway, I don’t think I’ll ever be an executive. But if I was, I would dispense the following directives:<\/p>\n