{"id":266,"date":"2005-05-23T23:14:04","date_gmt":"2005-05-24T03:14:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.goer.org\/wordpress\/commercials_wed_like_to_see"},"modified":"2005-05-23T23:14:04","modified_gmt":"2005-05-24T03:14:04","slug":"commercials_wed_like_to_see","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.goer.org\/Journal\/2005\/05\/commercials_wed_like_to_see.html","title":{"rendered":"Commercials We’d Like To See"},"content":{"rendered":"

Ever wonder how carnivorous aliens can devour humans without getting sick, even though they have totally different biochemistries? Well, Steve Eley has the answer<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

“Dessert?”<\/p>\n

“Oh, no, thank you. I’m chordate intolerant.”<\/p>\n

“So am I. Have you tried Terranex?”<\/p>\n

“Terranex? What’s that?”<\/p>\n

“It’s the new supplement for Earth invaders with sensitive thoracic cavities like ours. It breaks down those complex protein chains so your body doesn’t have to!”<\/p>\n

“I had no idea!”<\/p>\n

“For best results, Terranex should be taken every solar cycle. Side effects may include headaches, nausea, or the sudden transformation into a half-human hybrid consumed by inexplicable angst and intent on the destruction of your own race. If irritation persists, please see your geneticist. Now…how about an entertainment lawyer?”<\/p>\n

“I’ll take two!” [laughter] “THANKS, TERRANEX!”<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ever wonder how carnivorous aliens can devour humans without getting sick, even though they have totally different biochemistries?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-266","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sf"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goer.org\/Journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/266","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goer.org\/Journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goer.org\/Journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goer.org\/Journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goer.org\/Journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=266"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.goer.org\/Journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/266\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goer.org\/Journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=266"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goer.org\/Journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=266"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goer.org\/Journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=266"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}