{"id":250,"date":"2004-10-30T17:14:23","date_gmt":"2004-10-30T21:14:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.goer.org\/wordpress\/html_house_of_horror_markup_from_the_future"},"modified":"2004-10-30T17:14:23","modified_gmt":"2004-10-30T21:14:23","slug":"html_house_of_horror_markup_from_the_future","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.goer.org\/Journal\/2004\/10\/html_house_of_horror_markup_from_the_future.html","title":{"rendered":"HTML House of Horror: Markup… from the FUTURE!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Last year’s HTML House of Horror<\/a> brought us the Page of the Damned<\/a>, and was probably instrumental in bringing support for the MARQUEE element to Safari<\/a>. What horrors will this year’s page unleash? If ye do doubt yer courage or yer strength, look nae further!<\/strong><\/i><\/p>\n

As some of you might know, my career as an experimental condensed-matter physicist ended rather abruptly in 1998. A garden-variety case of grad-school burnout… or at least, that’s what everyone was supposed<\/em> to think.<\/p>\n

The truth is that I was thrown<\/em> out. When my innovative theories on the nature of spacetime came to the attention of the Institute for Theoretical Physics<\/a>, the scientific orthodoxy moved quickly to silence me. I was turned out on the street, with naught but a spare cryopump and a broken dilution refrigerator to my name. They called me mad, mad! Fools! I’ve showed them all!<\/p>\n

As anyone with even a passing acquaintance with quantum mechanics knows, probing the structure of events at the Planck scale<\/a> requires tremendous power. Back-of-the-envelope calculations estimate that such experiments would require an accelerator the size of the galaxy<\/a>, but such old-fashioned “reality-based<\/a> physics” is no match for faith-based physics, physics forged by pure Strength and Will. <\/p>\n

My first, failed experiments in early 2001 did have noticeable effects on the California power grid<\/a>, and for that temporary inconvenience, I apologize. Despite those early setbacks, I managed to steadily lower power consumption and increase the sensitivity of the device. By the summer of 2003, I was able to probe the seething quantum foam<\/a> itself. And I managed to confirm my theory that the foam resonates weakly in the wake of electromagnetic disturbances… electromagnetic disturbances from another slice of spacetime<\/em>.<\/p>\n

After another year of tuning, and the development of signal-processing algorithms the likes of which would make grown IEEE Fellows<\/a> weep, I was able to detect actual electronic signals from the future. It has taken weeks of calculation, but my poor, aged G4 PowerMac has finally succeeded in decoding a fragment of an actual HTTP packet exchange. Look upon the works of the future, ye markup geeks, and despair<\/a>. <\/p>\n

\n

GET \/ HTTP\/1.1
\nAccept: image\/gif, image\/x-xbitmap, image\/jpeg, image\/pjpeg, *\/*
\nAccept-Language: en-us
\nAccept-Encoding: gzip, deflate
\nUser-Agent: Mozilla\/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 7.3; Windows NT 6.1)
\nHost: grandpahenry.com
\nConnection: Keep-Alive<\/code><\/p>\n

HTTP\/1.1 200 OK
\nDate: Wed, 13 Feb 2008 20:39:26 GMT
\nServer: Apache\/1.4.1 (Unix)
\nLast-Modified: Thu, 04 Oct 2007 11:18:11 GMT
\nETag: \"2f51cd-924-381e1af6\"
\nAccept-Ranges: bytes
\nContent-length: 4211
\nConnection: close
\nContent-type: text\/html<\/code><\/p>\n


\n<?xml version=\"1.0\" encoding=\"UTF-8\"?>
\n<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC \"-\/\/W3C\/\/DTD XHTML 2.0\/\/EN\" \"TBD\">
\n<HTML>
\n<BODY background=bassfish.gif leftmargin=0 rightmargin=0 topmargin=0>
\n<CENTER><b><BLINK><font size=7>Grandpa Henry's Fishin' Page!<\/b><\/font><\/CENTER>
\n<nl>
\n<LI HREF=\"fishing.htm\">Fishing main
\n<LI HREF=rainbo1.htm>Rainbow Trout
\n<LI HREF=rod.htm>Rods and reels
\n<LI HREF=spots.htm>Best fishing spots
\n<LI HREF=\"grandkids.htm\">Cody and Gavin!
\n<\/NL>
\n
\nWell I'm back from taking little Cody & Gavin fishing, and we had a blast! We've got new pictures and more, including little Gavin's <font color=\"RED\">FIRST TROUT<\/font>!<p><\/p>\n

<BIG href=\"\/troutpics.html\">CLICK HERE FOR PICS!
\n...
\n<\/code><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Happy Halloween!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When my innovative theories on the nature of spacetime came to the attention of the Institute for Theoretical Physics<\/a>, the scientific orthodoxy moved quickly to silence me. I was turned out on the street, with naught but a spare cryopump and a broken dilution refrigerator to my name. They called me mad, mad! Fools! I’ve showed them all!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-250","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-web"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goer.org\/Journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/250","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goer.org\/Journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goer.org\/Journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goer.org\/Journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goer.org\/Journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=250"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.goer.org\/Journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/250\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goer.org\/Journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=250"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goer.org\/Journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=250"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goer.org\/Journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=250"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}