{"id":229,"date":"2004-03-17T00:09:26","date_gmt":"2004-03-17T05:09:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.goer.org\/wordpress\/kickin_it"},"modified":"2004-03-17T00:09:26","modified_gmt":"2004-03-17T05:09:26","slug":"kickin_it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.goer.org\/Journal\/2004\/03\/kickin_it.html","title":{"rendered":"Kickin&#8217; It"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I don&#8217;t think I&#8217;ll <em>ever<\/em> grow up.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.fred.net\/turtle\/asskicker\/asskicker.html\">The World&#8217;s Only Ass-Kicking Machine<\/a>. From the <a href=\"http:\/\/www.fred.net\/turtle\/asskicker\/howitworks.html\">technical discussion<\/a>: &#8220;At this throughput, it could be possible to kick the ass of everyone in the United States of America in 34 days, 17 hours, 40 minutes.&#8221;  Bear in mind, that&#8217;s something of a theoretical estimate.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<p>So what else kicks ass?  Well, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.strategypage.com\/humor\/default.asp?target=militaryrules.htm\">Military jokes kick ass<\/a>.  At least they kick more ass than <a href=\"https:\/\/www.goer.org\/2003\/Sep\/#09\">technical writer jokes<\/a>, which are few and far between.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<p>Which song kicks the most ass?  Nick, a GUY WHO LIKES MUSIC, has a <a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/exec\/obidos\/tg\/listmania\/list-browse\/-\/1NIA8FWQ0ULD9\/102-4734428-8269768\">complete list<\/a> of music that kicks ass. Personally, my vote goes to Moxy Fr&uuml;vous&#8217;s<sup>[<a href=\"#17-1\">1<\/a>]<\/sup> &#8220;<a href=\"http:\/\/www.fruvous.com\/ywgm-lyr.html#kickass\">Kick in the Ass<\/a>&#8220;, but hey, I&#8217;m partial to fruity music like that. <\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<p>Okay, but on the whole, who <em>really<\/em> kicks ass?  Microsoft says&#8230; <a href=\"http:\/\/search.msn.com\/results.aspx?q=%22kicks+ass%22\">Kelly Osbourne kicks ass<\/a>.  Ehhh.  Teoma says <a href=\"http:\/\/s.teoma.com\/search?q=%22kicks+ass%22\">ninjas kick ass<\/a>.  Yahoo says <a href=\"http:\/\/search.yahoo.com\/search?p=%22kicks+ass%22\">the ass-kicking machine kicks ass<\/a>. And Google? Google says that <a href=\"http:\/\/www.google.com\/search?q=%22kicks+ass%22\"><em>Canada<\/em> kicks ass<\/a> (!!)  That&#8217;s the last straw, Google. Never darken my door again.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><small><a name=\"17-1\"><\/a>1. Note bene: bands with umlauts in their names kick, on average, 38% more ass than bands without umlauts.<\/small><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I don&#8217;t think I&#8217;ll <em>ever<\/em> grow up.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-229","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-miscellany"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goer.org\/Journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/229","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goer.org\/Journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goer.org\/Journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goer.org\/Journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goer.org\/Journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=229"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.goer.org\/Journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/229\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goer.org\/Journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=229"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goer.org\/Journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=229"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goer.org\/Journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=229"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}