Dance, Magic Tupperware Dance

You know all those stories about Fairyland or the Netherworld or The Kingdom of the Goblins? Where if you manage to get lost there and stay too long, you end up transforming into a permanent resident?

Fortunately, in most of these stories the hero or heroine escapes the foul clutches of the goblins. Or on rarer occasions, they get rescued by their extraordinarily hot and determined older sister. But what if nobody ever managed to escape? What if the lost souls just kept piling up over the years? What would the Goblin King do then?

Leftover party Tupperware is almost exactly like this.

After holding regular Sunday summer barbecues for several years, I have managed to accumulate quite a motley assortment of kitchen items. The rule seems to be that if the person claims the item in the next few weeks, all is well. But if that doesn't happen, the item somehow morphs into "my stuff", whether I want it to or not.

So I offer this plea: People! My cupboard of Tupperware barely closes at this point! Fine as your accoutrements may be, I honestly don't need any more of them. My home is officially closed to your unwanted Tupperware, bowls, serving implements, shot glasses, and -- this should really go without saying -- boxes of frozen inedible shrimp!

"Pumpkin" "ale" in any season is right out!

The Goblin King hath spoken.

Comments

I kept trying to make this post title scan to Violent Femmes’ “Dance, M——-F——-, Dance!”

Posted by Mris on Jun. 08, 2007 at 5:56 AM [#]
All these exhortations to dance remind me of my favorite Onion article of all time.

Posted by Evan on Jun. 08, 2007 at 7:53 AM [#]
Face it Evan,

You wanted to be the lil guy riding around in Jennifer Connelly’s shirt pocket.

The last Tupperware issue happens with all dishware. The time to live value for it seems to be something on the order of 72 hours. If you can get it back to the original owners in that time, you don’t start getting stuff encrusted on you like the bag lady in Dark Crystal.

Dammit, now I have the desire to go find and optionally watch Jim Henson 80’s movies. /shakefist

Posted by Dru on Jun. 08, 2007 at 8:03 AM [#]
I tend to collect Gladware and similar plastic dishes, the ones that are reusable, but also cheap enough that you could throw them away.

Imagine my dismay when I noticed that my most recent Gladware purchases did not stack in similar Gladware dishes of a previous design. This is an obvious attempt to get me to throw away my old Gladware and only keep the new kind.

Part of my brain is currently composing a strongly worded letter on this subject.

Posted by Bart on Jun. 08, 2007 at 8:16 AM [#]
Hmm - as a new parent, I can’t imagine letting a leather-gloved David Bowie dance around with my child. Having said that, I love labyrinth - I had a crush on Jennifer Connelly before I even knew what a crush was.

Posted by Russ on Jun. 08, 2007 at 11:27 AM [#]
Dru: Hey, who says I wasn’t the little guy riding around in Jennifer Connelly’s shirt pocket?

Bart: Hmmm, it appears Gladware is learning from the software industry.

Russ: Come on — the poor baby is crying, and then David Bowie and his hideous goblin minions dance with the baby and cheer him right up! That’s a really cute scene! (As long as you forget about the fact that the baby is gonna transform into a hideous goblin minion, unless Jennifer Connelly manages to bust in and save him Real Soon Now.)

Posted by Evan on Jun. 08, 2007 at 12:49 PM [#]
Seems like worth noting that when I returned to the Bay Area, my very first ISP was BowieNet, the ISP launched by David Bowie back in 1998. Yes, my email address was evan@davidbowie.com. Ah, memories.

Posted by Evan on Jun. 08, 2007 at 12:55 PM [#]

Dance, Magic Tupperware Dance

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