As for the 'River of Blood', the Less Said, the Better

In what can only be described as a colossal marketing oversight, The Reaping is coming out just a little too late for Passover. From the trailer, I gather that the movie is about some poor town in a swampland (somewhere in Florida?) getting pummelled by the Ten Plagues in Full CGI. No doubt The Reaping's effects will blow the effects of the original Ten Commandments out of the water, although to be fair, it takes a really long time to render even a simple firestorm scene on a UNIVAC.

Much more interesting is this movie's theological implications. God sent the Ten Plagues -- the gold standard for divine wrath -- in order to force the Egyptians to let the Hebrews go. So after three thousand years, the next people to be punished in this horrific manner turns out to be... some poor backwoods community in the swamps? What on earth could these folks have done? Heck, the Nazis didn't get even so much as Frogs. The movie's tagline says, "What Hath God Wrought?" but that's got to be a red herring. My bet is that these new Ten Plagues turn out to actually be Satan's fault, although that just raises more questions about what Satan is empowered to do, what Satan's relationship with God might be, and so on. No doubt The Reaping will explore all these issues with great care and insight, in between blowing shit up.

In related news, my sister the rabbinical student moonlights as a teacher at a Jewish high school. To close out a class about Passover, she asked her students to do a short exercise: imagine what the Ten Plagues might be if translated into modern times. My sister was expecting some somber responses, perhaps derived from global warming, nuclear holocaust, prions, etc. Instead, from one group of teenage girls, she got:

Boils = OMG Acne!
Slaying of the First Born (Males) = OMG what if all the cute boys suddenly died!
Hailstorms = well, we'll keep that one as-is, because OMG frizzy hair!

I think this is proof that the kids are gonna be all right. Happy Pesach!

Comments

Heck, the Nazis didn’t get even so much as Frogs.

Ten years where the only things on the radio were political commercials and the music of Wagner. I’d say that’s at least as bad as murrain.

And enough with the slurs against the French.

My bet is that these new Ten Plagues turn out to actually be Satan’s fault

Surprisingly, the audience is left to decide whether the plagues are the fault of the Bush administration, or terrorists.

Posted by Bart on Apr. 02, 2007 at 2:19 PM [#]
It does look kind of funny but not in an intended sort of way. Your theology point/counter-point cracks me up.

Wait — did you say shit will get blown up in this movie? Screw theology, I’m there!

Posted by Dave T. on Apr. 03, 2007 at 3:14 PM [#]
I’m not a horror movie buff, so I won’t be seeing this thing. But my curiosity about the theology is genuine. No doubt the screenwriters started with, “The Ten Plagues in Modern Times! Awesome!” and then filled in the plot/justification part later. In fact, I’m convinced that this was the elevator pitch, verbatim. Still, I really want to know what that justification is, no matter how thin. So Bart or Dave, if either of you end up seeing this movie, please report back…

Posted by Evan on Apr. 03, 2007 at 5:51 PM [#]
Evan,

Love the biting commentary. It’s movies like this that simultaneously give me hope and despair. Hope, because I know I can write less stupid plots than that. Despair, because I know I can write less stupid plots than that.

Hope all is well in your world. k

Posted by retterson on Apr. 04, 2007 at 7:03 AM [#]
All is well, Katharine. Hope you’re doing great also!

Posted by Evan on Apr. 04, 2007 at 8:27 AM [#]

As for the 'River of Blood', the Less Said, the Better

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