May 23, 2005

Commercials We'd Like To See

Ever wonder how carnivorous aliens can devour humans without getting sick, even though they have totally different biochemistries? Well, Steve Eley has the answer:

"Dessert?"

"Oh, no, thank you. I'm chordate intolerant."

"So am I. Have you tried Terranex?"

"Terranex? What's that?"

"It's the new supplement for Earth invaders with sensitive thoracic cavities like ours. It breaks down those complex protein chains so your body doesn't have to!"

"I had no idea!"

"For best results, Terranex should be taken every solar cycle. Side effects may include headaches, nausea, or the sudden transformation into a half-human hybrid consumed by inexplicable angst and intent on the destruction of your own race. If irritation persists, please see your geneticist. Now...how about an entertainment lawyer?"

"I'll take two!" [laughter] "THANKS, TERRANEX!"

Comments

  1. Funny. I just heard a radio segment about a new discovery of a bacteria that lives on arsenic and sulfer instead what we oxygen breathing, red-meat-eating americans eat. Think that the aliens would be arsenic based life forms?

    Posted by Not Me on May. 27, 2005 at 8:17 AM [#]

Post a Comment

(Optional, will not be shown)

(Optional)

Are you sentient?

Comments use Markdown syntax. HTML will be stripped out.

  • New para: two carriage returns
  • Emphasis: *emphasis*
  • Bulleted list: - bullet item
  • Ordered list: 1. numbered item
  • Blockquote: > "To the Batcave!"
  • URLs get automatically linked: http://yahoo.com
  • To create an inline link like Yahoo!: [Yahoo!](http://yahoo.com/)