Kickin' It

I don't think I'll ever grow up.

The World's Only Ass-Kicking Machine. From the technical discussion: "At this throughput, it could be possible to kick the ass of everyone in the United States of America in 34 days, 17 hours, 40 minutes." Bear in mind, that's something of a theoretical estimate.
So what else kicks ass? Well, Military jokes kick ass. At least they kick more ass than technical writer jokes, which are few and far between.
Which song kicks the most ass? Nick, a GUY WHO LIKES MUSIC, has a complete list of music that kicks ass. Personally, my vote goes to Moxy Früvous's^[1] "Kick in the Ass", but hey, I'm partial to fruity music like that.
Okay, but on the whole, who really kicks ass? Microsoft says... Kelly Osbourne kicks ass. Ehhh. Teoma says ninjas kick ass. Yahoo says the ass-kicking machine kicks ass. And Google? Google says that Canada kicks ass (!!) That's the last straw, Google. Never darken my door again.

1. Note bene: bands with umlauts in their names kick, on average, 38% more ass than bands without umlauts.

Comments

That Google, they sure do have things nailed! :-P

Posted by Mike P. on Mar. 17, 2004 at 2:34 AM [#]
Bah. Clearly someone over at that beautiful Shoreline campus deserves an ass-kicking.

Posted by Evan on Mar. 17, 2004 at 8:44 AM [#]
On behalf of veterans everywhere, let me apologize for the attitudes expressed in that joke. Please know that there are those of us who recognize that human behavior falls into more than two categories: a) worshipful of jingoistic veterans and their ideals and b) deserving of a kick in the ass.

Posted by Jemaleddin on Mar. 17, 2004 at 10:48 PM [#]