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I don't think I'll ever grow up.
The World's Only Ass-Kicking Machine. From the technical discussion: "At this throughput, it could be possible to kick the ass of everyone in the United States of America in 34 days, 17 hours, 40 minutes." Bear in mind, that's something of a theoretical estimate.
So what else kicks ass? Well, Military jokes kick ass. At least they kick more ass than technical writer jokes, which are few and far between.
Which song kicks the most ass? Nick, a GUY WHO LIKES MUSIC, has a complete list of music that kicks ass. Personally, my vote goes to Moxy Früvous's[1] "Kick in the Ass", but hey, I'm partial to fruity music like that.
Okay, but on the whole, who really kicks ass? Microsoft says... Kelly Osbourne kicks ass. Ehhh. Teoma says ninjas kick ass. Yahoo says the ass-kicking machine kicks ass. And Google? Google says that Canada kicks ass (!!) That's the last straw, Google. Never darken my door again.
1. Note bene: bands with umlauts in their names kick, on average, 38% more ass than bands without umlauts.
Posted by Evan Goer on Mar. 17, 2004 at 12:09 AM | Comments (3)
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