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Leonard's Rules for Writing

Elmore Leonard's rules for writing:

1. Never open a book with weather.

   Sure. Nobody wants to be Edward Bulwer-Lytton, after all.

2. Avoid prologues.

   This is a pet peeve of mine, particularly when I read thick fantasy novels. If there's a prologue, it's almost always about Gods and Goddesses and Heros and Monsters and there's a blizzard of names and places to wade through. And then the story starts. Bleahh.

3. Never use a verb other than "said" to carry dialogue.

   This goes a bit too far. Better to say, "don't be afraid to use 'said' to carry dialogue".

4. Never use an adverb to modify the verb "said".

   Well, avoid using adverbs, period.

5. Keep your exclamation points under control.

   My high school English teacher told us that we could only use two exclamation points per year. She was kind of a dotty lady... but she was right about this one.

6. Never use the words "suddenly" or "all hell broke loose".

   And whatever you do, don't combine these words with a description of the weather: "Suddenly, on a dark and stormy night, all hell broke loose." That's like the Triple Crown of bad prose.

7. Use regional dialect, patois, sparingly.

   In the article, Leonard cites Annie Proulx, but I'm not sure if he's complimenting her or criticizing her. (Unlike B. R. Myers, who is absolutely clear; he hates Proulx.)

8. Avoid detailed descriptions of characters.

   Or, "Show, don't tell". But you knew that. I knew that. We all knew that. A round of applause for us! Moving on...

9. Don't go into great detail describing places and things.

   See Rule #8.

10. Try to leave out the part that readers tend to skip.

    As Sam might put it: Fuckin' A.

Winelog:

I think I've found a wine rating site that shares my philosophy. I do have to deduct a few points, though -- these folks do have enough vocabulary to say why they liked or disliked a particular bottle. No, no, no. I'm looking for just the visceral reaction: Yes! No! Maybe! That's it. Anyway...

Fetzer, California, 1999 Cabernet Sauvignon: Not bad.
Sonoma Creek, Sonoma, 1999 Merlot: Not bad.
Black Mountain, California, 1999 Cabernet Sauvignon (FatCat): Yum

Posted by Evan Goer on Jan. 27, 2002 at 10:28 AM